He knew it was late. He should be sleeping. Actually, he had slept. For about two hours. Curled up against his lover, feeling the familiar warmth in his arms, the muscular, hard, very male body. Someone he knew so intimately, he didn't know if there was a spot he hadn't explored before. He had fallen asleep in those strong arms, hearing the regular breaths, the beat of his heart, and it had lulled him into the welcome darkness.

Now Trip Tucker was awake, sitting at the foot of the bed he had shared so often before with Malcolm Reed, eyes on the still sleeping armory officer. Malcolm lay on his side, snuggled into the pillows, one arm flung over the sheets as if he was still embracing Trip. The other arm was curled under his head. Dark strands hung across his forehead, his hair unruly.

Trip smiled.

Unruly. Not like the officer, Lieutenant Reed, but very much Malcolm. Not much of the officer left when he looked at him like that. Not really. Asleep, Malcolm relaxed his fascade, became another person. Hell, he turned into someone else the moment they were off duty, alone. Only he got to see his lover this way. In the morning, tousled and half awake. After making love, flushed and covered in sweat, eyes glowing. Sharing thoughts and laughter, stories of good times and bad, of friends and family. Those were moments no one else would ever be privy to, and he was proud of it.

This night had been special for Trip. He didn't know why, but he had felt the need to be with Malcolm, to have him, not let him go. Reed had accommodated him, had turned over control completely, had let his blond lover call the shots. Trip wouldn't call it domination; neither of them dominated in this relationship. Malcolm was a little whirlwind, his little whirlwind, at times. He could completely flatten Tucker with his energy, the way he dragged him into the abyss of myriads of sensations, of utter pleasure, of satisfaction and bliss. But he also easily sat back and let Trip take over, be on the receiving end. And Trip loved making the smaller man squirm with need, cry out his desire, plead and beg, and finally reach his climax.

Last night, he had asked Malcolm to give in right from the start. He had demanded it, actually, and the kissing duel had turned into one of rough and demanding power-play.

Trip looked down at his folded legs. Somehow, after they had returned from this world of bliss, now that he had had some rest, he felt a small coil of unease in his stomach.

He hadn't stopped at simply pressing his lover onto the bed, tearing the clothes off, driving him insane with kissing and nipping at all the erotic spots. He had actually asked Malcolm to submit to him with bonds. Reed had agreed, yes, but Trip couldn't shake the feeling that he had gone too far. Blindfolded, bound to the bed, Malcolm had been unable to escape. Of course, had he voiced his unease, his protests, Trip would have stopped. Right?

Tucker bit his lower lip. He would have stopped. He would….He loved Malcolm more than life, he never would consciously hurt him, and Reed had done the same to him before. But back then Trip had asked for it. It didn't mean his lover would like it, too. Especially since he was the security officer aboard, someone who had a mild streak of paranoia, who would be at Trip's mercy.

Throughout their relationship they had discovered that there were things one liked and the other didn't. It was accepted. Had Malcolm really liked it? He trusts me, he thought. Our relationship is built on trust.

And he had liked it! his memory insisted.

Malcolm's climax had been a rush to both of them. Holding him at the edge for as long as he could get away with it, Trip had teased and tortured the bound man, making him beg, writhe on the bed, and finally scream out his release. Trip had followed, buried deep inside the smaller man, collapsing on top and kissing the kiss-bruised lips gently. He had felt the answering touch, the moan of pleasure vibrating against his tongue. When he had freed Malcolm, Reed had wrapped his arms around him, murmuring softly how much he loved him.

So had he forced him to do something or not?

Trip scrubbed a hand over his eyes, feeling tiredness sweep over him. He just didn't know and somehow he was reluctant to approach Malcolm, ask him.

What if…?

"Trip?"

The sleep-heavy voice startled him and he looked up. He found his gaze caught by two gray eyes blinking away the remnants of whatever he had dreamed of.

"Something wrong?"

Trip shook his head. "No," he reassured his lover quickly. "I was just…uh…I woke up," he finished lamely.

Malcolm frowned, studying the other man. "Trip…"

Tucker sighed as he recognized the unmistakable 'don't screw with me, I know it's not okay' tone of voice. Malcolm sat up and Trip saw him wince briefly. Damn.

"Trip?"

"'S nothin'."

"Sure." Malcolm scooted closer. "Want to try again?" he offered.

He met the dark gray gaze in the handsome face. "Mal, about last night…" He stopped and lowered his gaze, looking at his lover's wrists. No marks. Thank you god; no marks. "Did I hurt you?"

There was a moment of surprised silence. "What?" Malcolm finally stuttered. "Trip…you have never hurt me when we are together. Never. What's going on?"

"Last night, I was kinda rough…"

Strong fingers touched him, encircled one wrist. "Never too rough."

"The bonds…"

"I didn't protest."

"Would you have?" Trip whispered, needing to know.

Sometimes, the early days of their relationship came back to haunt him, unbidden. Back then, Malcolm hadn't said a word about his own discomfort, about his fears. He had 'served'. Gawd, how much he hated himself for overlooking that little fact. Even today it gave him a stab in the stomach. Yes, they had worked through it, had cleared the air, but it still stuck to his memories like a bad chewing gum.

Back then he had hurt his future lover. Unconsciously…but he had.

"Trip," Reed said slowly, voice serious, firm. "I wouldn't give my consent to something I don't feel comfortable with. Not any more. Not with you…us. It's in the past, and it was a mistake. I won't repeat it ever again. Believe me, I would have let you know if anything we were doing would have been too much; or had hurt. I trust you."

Trip looked up, a hesitant smile on his lips.

"Is that what kept you awake?"

"Yeah."

"Because this time you had bound me, not the other way around?"

A nod. Trip had liked it. It had been an awkward confession to himself and later to Malcolm, but he had liked the silk bonds around his hands, the feeling of helplessness, as well as power. Power because having Malcolm impaled on him, head thrown back, had been the most powerful, erotic sight he had ever beheld. Without even touching the man, he had turned him into this…

Malcolm sighed and closed the last distance between them. He leaned forward and gave Trip an almost chaste kiss.

"I love you, Trip. I trust you with my body and soul. I liked what we did last night. It was…strangely erotic"

"I never thought about what I did," Trip murmured, eyes evading his lover's. "Never even thought about a safe word…"

"I was safe with you, Trip," Malcolm repeated.

"But I never gave the option of you not likin' what I do a thought. I just went ahead and got all…aggressive….Oh gawd…."

Reed's hand squeezed his arm slightly. "I didn't protest."

Trip remembered chanting 'Mine, mine, mine' again and again as he drove himself into the supine man, enjoying each gasp, each whispered 'yours', each groan. He reached out now, tracing the faint mark on Malcolm's shoulder where he had bruised the skin when he had bitten him as he had climaxed. Malcolm caught the hesitant hand.

"What triggered this…possession?" he wanted to know, voice soft.

Tucker swallowed. "Ah don't know…" he confessed. "It was a feelin'. We didn't have much time alone lately. An' I was always sharin' ya with the others…I just needed ya. Real badly. All for myself. Ah wanted to…be with you. Deeply."

Reed tugged at his hand and Trip reluctantly allowed him to pull him onto the mattress. Malcolm pushed him gently down and then leaned over him, smiling.

"You have me. All the time. I take it as a compliment, too." He placed a kiss onto Trip's forehead, cheekbones and nose, finally licking over the lips. Trip opened them, letting him in, and they kissed slowly.

Maybe it had been the grueling work hours lately, the constant problems with the ship's systems. Maybe it had been something inside Trip himself. Maybe it had been a primal need. Tucker didn't know. It had the feeling of…well, like trying to reaffirm an invisible bond between them.

"As long as we don't need this to get off at all," Malcolm murmured as he nibbled along his jaw to his ear.

"All I need is you," Trip whispered. He wrapped his arms tightly around the smaller man. "Just you."

Malcolm only smiled warmly. "You know, you have me. As long as you want." "Forever," Trip murmured and closed his eyes, sighing into the dark hair.