It had been a week. A WEEK. Travis had tried everything way he could think of to apologize to Malcolm but the older man wasn't having it. Travis really didn't know what to do. He was sorry about the things he had said and wished he could take them back but Malcolm didn't want to listen.

This time Travis knew it was his fault he couldn't be with Malcolm. He refused to let there relationship go though. He didn't believe in love at first sight, but there had been something there from the first time he'd seen Malcolm. He liked to think of it as lust at first sight. After he was able to get to know Malcolm his feelings grew instead of fading away until thoughts of Malcolm occupied a good portion of his time.

Travis understood perfectly why Malcolm didn't want to talk to him but it didn't mean he had to like it. He still thought Malcolm was wrong to go back on his promise but he could have found better ways to deal with it and Travis could have listened to his older, more experienced, lover.

He sat on the bridge now. The viewscreen was displaying the star scape and he could see Malcolm at the tactical station reflected in the blackness. He told himself he couldn't be distracted by the image but he couldn't help himself.

He had to win Malcolm back. He had to do something. Anything.

Life was still a mess. People were still guessing about his girlfriend. He wanted to just turn around and yell at them that he wasn't in a relationship, he'd gone and fucked it up. Of course he had, he was an ass hole.

He didn't shout though. Then he would have confirmed that he had been in a relationship and it would only perk their interest. You would have thought Starfleet's finest would have had something better to do with their time then gossip about him.

He wondered what he could do to make Malcolm care about him again. No, he knew Malcolm still cared about him, he just needed the older man's forgiveness. He wished again that he could take it all back. Wished he could just make it all good again. He knew he couldn't though, knew things would never be right again.

He wanted to do something, anything. He wondered, if he forced Malcolm into a public confrontation would it make the other man forgive him. He'd have to word it carefully so the people around them remained oblivious. Maybe Malcolm would get so scared that Travis would let something slip that he would take Travis somewhere private to talk and he could finally have a conversation with the other man.

"Ensign Mayweather!"

***

Archer watched the Ensign focus on the console again, then give the Captain a sheepish glance. Travis' mind was wondering again. It concerned Archer just how often it seemed to happen lately. He would have to consider talking to the Ensign, maybe even relieving him of duty for a few days.

His Armoury officer seemed to be suffering from exactly the opposite. Archer would visit the Armoury even in the middle of the night and find the other man there working. It was starting to show too in the shadows under Malcolm's eyes.

He wondered if maybe it was his pushing them into talking to each other that had caused the trouble. He had to do it though, didn't he? It was his duty as Captain to make sure his crew was well.

His crew wasnâ€(tm)t well though. Not these two anyway. He really couldn't afford to have his Armoury officer and helmsman distracted. Anyone else, maybe, but not these two. They were the two members of the crew who needed to be really alert on a regular basis. Usually, they both knew their duties and concentrated on them through the day without having to be told.

He knew they were both capable of doing their jobs, they were just distracted by each other. He wondered if forcing a second confrontation would help anything. They had to talk. Archer wouldn't exactly consider himself an expert on relationships but there had to be something he could do here.

Neither of them deserved this. Neither of them deserved to be hurt. It was a fact of life that not every relationship worked out but he thought they could work through their differences. If for nothing else then for the fact that Malcolm didn't seem to have any other friends. Sure, there was Trip, but Archer took up a good bit of the Commanderâ€(tm)s time himself. Being the Captain of the first Starfleet ship out this far was very stressful. Any time to relax was precious and the most relaxing was spending a little time in the company of his best friend. Hoshi was Malcolm's friend too, but she was also Travis' friend and Archer got the feeling she was a little torn between the two. Hoshi was one of the youngest crewmembers on the ship and he felt very responsible for her. He wanted her to be at ease, another reason to find a way to get Travis and Malcolm talking again.

But really, who was he to force them. They were both big boys and he was sure they would work it through. If they didn't, then they werenâ€(tm)t mature enough to be in a relationship to begin with.

His comm panel beeped.

"Tucker to Cap'n Archer."

***

Trip grinned as he heard his friend answer the hail. He couldn't help but grin at the sound of Johnny Archerâ€(tm)s voice, even if the reason he had contacted the Captain was very serious.

"Cap'n, we may have a bit of a supply situation down here. We just used that last of our valve sealant. We can improvise for a while but unless we find some more soon we may be in a bit of trouble."

"All right Trip," Archer replied. "I'll see what I can do."

Trip closed the channel and turned his attention back to the console, or at least tried to. Something had been bothering Johnny lately. Trip couldn't exactly lay his finger on it but it was there. Johnny was worried about something. Trip had seen it all before. It was probably about a member of the crew. Quite possibly Lieutenant Reed and Ensign Mayweather.

All the recent changes in Mal's attitude hadn't escaped Trip. The engineer may not get as much time to spend with the Lieutenant as he may like but he still had a general idea of the other man's moods.

First he was extremely happy and would walk around with that blissful grin on his face. If Malcolm didn't know better he would had thought that Malcolm had a young lady visiting his quarters, but he did know better. Another of those secrets Malcolm had revealed while they were trapped on shuttlepod one. Malcolm had told Trip he was gay. Trip had been yelling at him once again, something about why all the damn messages were the same. Malcolm had blurted out that they were all the same because he didn't care about the girls; he only dated them for appearances. He was gay.

Trip and Malcolm hadn't talked about that aspect of the experience. They didn't seem to talk about much of anything, they were both so busy. When they did get time together they preferred to spend it thinking about something a little lighter.

But as it was, Trip didn't let the thought of Malcolm being gay disturb him. It would have once. He'd grown up with all the average stereotypes and his image of gays hadn't been very kind, until his best friend had come out in high school. After that Trip questioned everything. His best friend, Mark, had come out to dating a guy. Everyone had been talking behind his back and rudely teasing Mark. Mark had to stop taking gym because the other guys refused to get changed in the same room as him. But Mark was still the same guy he had been before, only happier. It changed a lot of Trip's ideas. When he'd moved away from home, Trip had lost contact with Mark. It had been ok. He'd made new friends, including Johnny. He still missed Mark sometimes though.

He was pulled out of his memories when someone cleared their throat next to him.

"Commander Tucker."

***

Lauren held out the data pad patiently. Trip grinned and accepted it. He glanced over it's contents then thanked her. She quickly moved off back to her console. She would be of duty any time now and she could get out of here finally. Not like she had anything else to do.

She seemed to be spending all her time running over the one conversation in her mind. That one conversation with Travis. How had things gone so wrong? What could she had possibly said to get that outcome? She had wanted to break them up, not bring them back together. It hadn't gone her way though. Nothing ever did.

But still, they didn't seem to be dating. That was a good sign. Her Travis always seemed so distraught when she saw him around. She just wanted to pull him into her arms and kiss him and make it all better.

That wouldn't go over to well though. She had to wait until he realized Malcolm was right all along. Malcolm and Travis couldn't be together. He would, undoubtedly, fall apart. And she would be there to pick up the pieces.

This had to go well for her. It wasn't like she wanted a lot of things out of life. She wanted to live. She wanted to have friends, maybe a small family. She wanted to be happy and she wanted to be normal. It wasn't so much to ask. She didn't want to be great. She didn't want to be popular or famous. She didn't want to be a hero. She just wanted to pass through live, making as few splashes as possible until the day it was all over.

Things NEVER went her way though. It wasn't like she wanted to get into trouble, but trouble seemed to follow her around. There was little chance of her being declared a hero but a few unfortunate run-ins with some drugs of the illegal, mind altering kind had meant that her dream of staying in her small town home for her entire life, marrying and having kids, went to hell. Fortunately, before she slipped into the murk that was a lot of her life she had managed to get some qualifications. It was these and Starfleet's drug rehabilitation program that had landed her on the starship Enterprise and into the life of one Travis Mayweather.

Maybe her life wasn't all that bad. It could be a lot worse.

A quick glance at the clock on her console revealed that she was officially off duty now. She shut the work station down and headed for the mess hall. She would go through the motions. Eat lunch with Glen. Cast longing glances at Travis whenever no-one was looking. Everything would be the same…

She hated it. She wanted it to change. She wanted to do something bold and exciting so Travis would notice her. But then people would talk. She didn't want that.

Why couldn't things be simple? Why did life keep fucking her over so badly? Why her? Why not Glen? He lead a fucking charmed life. Why couldn't she be like that?

She paused for a moment and thought about kicking the wall but decided better of it. That wouldn't make anything better. She just wanted a shot with Travis. Even if it didn't work out she wanted to be able to say she had been his girlfriend. And it would work out. They were meant for each other.

Now all she had to do was get him to see that. It wasn't exactly that she wanted to hurt Malcolm. She didn't doubt that Malcolm loved Travis. Who wouldn't? She just knew she loved Travis more. She would do anything he asked for him. If only Malcolm could see her and Travis together, see how much happier Travis would be with her than with him, the Lieutenant would be happy for Travis. How could he not be?

But then maybe she had judged him wrongly. Maybe he was so selfish he wouldn't see that Travis was better of with her and try to get Travis for himself. She just couldn't deal with that.

She entered the mess hall and saw the object of her hatred sitting alone reading something. As she passed she nodded at him and smiled.

"Lauren," he said by way of greeting.

***

Why?

That was all Lieutenant Malcolm Reed had been able to think for the past week. Why wouldn't he say yes? Why couldn't Travis say it his way? Why couldn't he forgive Travis? Why?

It wasn't as if like he didn't want to forgive Travis. It wasn't as if Travis hadn't asked for his forgiveness. It was just that they didn't see eye to eye one this, how could they ever continue a relationship? Surely trying to continue the relationship would only lead to more trouble and more fights.

He knew Travis was sitting at one of the tables behind him. When Travis had entered the mess hall Malcolm had tracked him, watching his movements. He didn't like the way the younger man avoided making eye contact. Now Travis was somewhere behind him and he couldn't turn around or he would appear too obvious.

Why was this all so complicated? Why couldn't it be simple? Not that anything ever was for him but…

He wasn't getting into that now. He wasn't getting into self pity. There would be plenty of time for 'oh poor me, I messed up another relationship' when he was not in the middle of the mess hall.

Finally he gave up and laid the report he had been trying to read down on the table. It was useless. Another afternoon ruined by thoughts of Travis and the things he could never have with the young helmsman. He sighed and gathered up the padd to leave. He may as well go to the gym and try to burn off some excess energy. Heaven knew it was the only way he got a chance to work off any energy now a days.

As he stood he glanced back over his shoulder to Travis. The young man was taking quietly to Lauren. Leaning in a little too close for the Armoury officers liking. Brushing her ear with his lips. Making her giggle.

Malcolm tensed. He couldn't stop looking at Travis. Couldn't stop staring. Then Travis slowly looked up to meet his gaze. They held each others eyes for a second then Travis lent over and planted a gently kiss on Lauren's lips.