I. POPCORN

"Malcolm, can I sit here?"

"Sure, Trip. "

"Aw, shoot! Forgot popcorn…"

"Don't worry. I'll share."

Malcolm held the tub of popcorn, enjoying one kernel at a time.

"That's how you eat popcorn?"

"What's wrong?"

"Nothin'. Just looks kinda weird."

Malcolm grimaced as Trip shoved a handful into his mouth.

"See! That's how you eat popcorn!"

"And you spilt half on me!"

"Here, let me help…"

"No, don't!" Malcolm exclaimed, pushing away Trip's hand.

<Pause>

"So, is that a phase pistol in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?"

"I'm happy," Malcolm admitted coyly.

"I'm happy too."

====================

II. AFTER POPCORN, BEFORE NIGHTCAP

"So, Malcolm, do ya wanna stay for the movie or go to my place?"

"Is that a trick question?"

"Nope. Just bein' polite."

"Stop it. Let's go!"

The men scrambled out of their seats and headed for Trip's quarters.

"Hey, no running in the hallway!" Archer joked. "Where are you going?"

"Nowhere," they answered in unison.

"Really?" Archer questioned suspiciously.

"And we gotta go!" Trip sputtered.

The men continued their frenetic journey as the captain looked on.

"Malcolm, do you think he suspects?"

"Is that a trick question?"

"No, a dumb one."

"No more questions, Trip. Open the door. Now."

============================

III. NIGHTCAP

"We're finally here!" Trip exclaimed as they entered his quarters. "Still happy to see me?"

"Ecstatic!"

Trip clasped his hands around the armory officer's buttocks, drawing him close. "I get the message, loud and clear," Trip murmured, while nuzzling and kissing Malcolm's neck.

Clothing was quickly removed and scattered. The men fell gracelessly onto the bed, both becoming hot and sweaty from wrestling one another for position. Trip came out on top.

"Oh, Malcolm," Trip moaned.

"Trip! Do that again! That thing with your hips…"

"What, this?"

"Oh, yeeesss! Perfect."

"Malcolm…too fast!"

"Not fast enough!"

Both men screamed.

Bliss.