Title: The Horizon
Author: Qzeebrella
E-mail: qzeebrella@yahoo.com
11/03/03
Fandom: Enterprise
Category: Slash
Disclaimer: The show and its characters belong to Paramount. The story below is mine; no profit is being made.
Archive: to EntSTSlash and Archer's Enterprise
Pairing: Reed/Mayweather
Rating: G
Spoilers: Horizon
Summary: Malcolm thinks of the possibility of losing Travis to the Horizon.
Feedback: to qzeebrella@yahoo.com or on list
Beta: the glorious Mareel, I added one or two things since she's seen this, so any mistakes are mine, all mine!
In order to get used to being at sea, a passenger on an ocean-going vessel is told to keep an eye on the horizon. For if you focus on the deck or the ship you will see every motion and become motion sick. If, however, you focus on the horizon you get used to the ship's movement a bit quicker, learn how best to walk upon the ship faster, and see a lovely view.
Sailors look to the horizon for these and other reasons. They also do so to spot hazards like icebergs or pirates, to gage weather conditions, to keep an eye out for birds that live mostly along the coast, and to spot sea life as well. I recall the time when I learned how to determine my position on the ocean using a sextant pointed toward the sun or the stars and measuring the angle between the stellar object and the horizon. Carefully keeping an eye on the horizon in this way to determine where we were and how to get where we intended to go. Learning this ancient method out of a sense of tradition and as a way to compensate should more sophisticated technology fail.
When someone has a goal that may take years to achieve, they are also advised to keep an eye on the horizon. In the sense of keeping in mind what they hope to achieve and what reaching the goal will bring them.
I know that in days gone by the navigator on board a sailing ship had a very vital role. So does Travis on this ship, as he is both our best navigator and our best pilot. He also has the most experience in space, so has been invaluable in "reading the wind", being able to tell us of how Space anomalies effect ships, and of things to do to prevent our experiencing cabin fever. If he leaves us for the Horizon, there will be a hole in our ship that will be difficult if not possible to patch. His enthusiasm and knowledge will leak from the ship, leaving a void that seeps from the crews' strength.
In my lifetime I have been a passenger on my father's ships, keeping an eye on the horizon as we traveled short distances. I have been a crewmember on board sailing ships, managing to become a good sailor in spite of my hydrophobia. Even coming to be able to "read the wind".
When I entered Starfleet and set my sight on serving on this ship, I kept my eye firmly on the horizon and worked towards what I wanted to achieve. I became Armoury Officer and Chief of Security due to my hard work and am very good at what I do.
Today I keep an eye on the Horizon for a much different reason. I am waiting to learn if the man I have come to love will be returning or remaining elsewhere to help his family. I have not dared to speak of my feelings, though I suspect they may be returned, not wanting to burden him in his time of grief. His eyes, his voice, his posture all show how angry and sad he is. Angry that he had not been told of his father's illness or that death was possibly imminent until now, sad that he was not able to talk with his father again and try to be on good terms with him before he passed on.
If he chooses to atone for the guilt he feels at not being there before his father passed on, instead of pursuing a career in Starfleet, I will miss him dearly.
This is the only time I have both dreaded and looked forward to seeing a horizon. Dreading it, for Travis may choose to stay with them and I will have lost a dear and cherished friend. I will be craving for the sunshine in my life. I will be left wanting for the person who has become my compass, my northern star, and my fair wind. I will be lost without him and my heart will be gone.
To be found only on the Horizon.
So I look at my sensors, I check the viewscreen, and I wait to see the Horizon.
I wait to see if my sunshine comes back. If he does, I shall let him know how dear he is to me, how dear he will always be even if we remain only friends. For he is my heart and I shall always look out for him, wish the best for him, and be there when he needs me.
I hope only that the Horizon gives him back to me.