*Cum tacent clamant (when they are silent, they cry out)*

It's suicide. Pure and simple.

I didn't say anything while the captain was there, in the situation room with Travis and Trip both vying to be the one to fly that mission. I kept silent. I'm no pilot. I can fly, but I know I couldn't learn those alien controls as quickly as Travis did, or as quickly as the captain could.

There's another consideration too. I know I'd freeze up, however briefly when that craft hit the water. That could be a fatal mistake. So I said nothing when the captain announced his decision to fly the mission.

He met my eyes. "We're talking about a one way trip."

I nodded, well aware of what he was really saying. He was letting me win.

It didn't feel like a victory though. Not when I could read the agony in Trip's eyes and know that he was crying out for any other solution. Trip would gladly go himself in order to spare the captain.

It was because of Trip that I did what I did next.

After the captain, Travis and Trip left, I turned to look at T'Pol.

"Are you just going to let him go?"

She seemed lost in her own thoughts and she started and met my eyes. She didn't speak and I stepped closer to her, into her personal space. "He's going down there fully intending to kill himself in the effort to destroy that weapon, and you said nothing?"

"Do you really think that anything I say would turn him from his chosen course?"

I stared at her; her dark eyes almost seemed to plead with mine. "You have got to *try* I insisted. The captain is." I passed my tongue over suddenly dry lips, afraid to say what I knew I had to say next. "He's irrational. Has been for months now; he's not thinking clearly *someone*has got to stop him!"

T'Pol swallowed hard, and looked into my eyes, her own holding an expression I had never seen in them before, and then she turned away and left the bridge without another word.

Whether she tried or not, I don't know. I only know that he went, and that was when the madness broke out.

The ship is flying apart around us. God knows how many are dead, injured, or how in hell we can hope to come out of this alive.

Somehow, the Xindi knew we were here. A small part of my mind keeps trying to tell me Archer has done this deliberately but I push it down into some small dark place inside me.

Despite what has happened recently. Despite what I know, I refuse to believe that he is capable of *that.*

He's still Captain Jonathan Archer, and I refuse to believe he would deliberately endanger his ship because of the situation between us.