Title: Smith and Wesson

Author: Stormymouse

Author's email: stormy@enterpriseboys.de

Author's URL: http://www.enterpriseboys.de

Date: 03/29/2004


Archive: A no-no to anyone but entstslash, archers_enterprise and reedsarcheryrange—but you can always ask ;-)

Fandom: Star Trek Enterprise

Category: Slash

Rating: G

Pairing: Archer/Reed

Summary: Taking a bath with Malcolm Reed does have its risks!

Author's note: Just a little something that came to me and Stoffel months ago! Today I found the file on my hard drive and I thought I might end the little ficlet and give it to you guys!

Beta: None, all mistakes and contradictions are mine! If you find them—keep them ;-)

Disclaimer: Own? Me? You must be kidding!

Feedback: Yes, please! You do that so well!

I walk down the hallway towards the gym. It is way past midnight and I am looking forward to a very special treat, a visit to the jacuzzi my best friend, Commander Charles "Trip" Tucker III has installed a few weeks ago.

At first the hot tub had seemed like too much of a luxury in my eyes considering the fact that we are trying to take revenge on a species that wants to annihilate Earth but after a while I realized how much the crew welcomed the distraction and the indulgence.

I enter the gym and head for the locker room where I change into my Star Fleet standard blue bathing trunks. After a quick shower I step into the small room that houses the whirl pool.

To my surprise I find Lieutenant Malcolm Reed sitting in it, grinning broadly. It sounds like he's giggling and talking to someone.

"Good evening, Lieutenant! Mind if I join you?"

The armory officer's head snaps around at the unexpected sound of my voice and the smile on his lips dies away. He blushes furiously. "Uhm…good evening, Sir!"

He gropes around in the water as if he's searching for something and his eyes dart from one end of the small pool to the other.

"Is something wrong, Malcolm?"

The Brit swallows and slowly shakes his head. "No, Sir, everything's alright."

I frown. My armory officer isn't always easy to understand, but this behavior is odd even for him.

I shrug off the thought and put one foot into the hot water, then the other and with a sigh I sit down on the bench. "Boy, this feels good!"

I close my eyes and try to relax. The bubbles that caress my body sooth my exhausted mind and I drift towards a relaxing slumber.

Suddenly I feel something touch my thigh.

Curiously I open my eyes. Malcolm is still sitting opposite me, a haunted expression on his face. Could it be that…Nah, not my serene tactical officer.

I close my eyes again and settle back into the water. A few minutes go by until I feel it again, something is definitely touching my leg.

I furrow my brow and stare at the lieutenant. His face is flushed and his hands are still groping for something.


He yanks back his hands and swallows. "Yes, Sir?"

"Uhm…never mind."

I stay more alert now, trying to figure out what is going on.


I reach out to my left thigh and am very surprised when I find something clinging to it. I try to get it off my leg and lift it out of the water. It's a small turtle.

I hear Malcolm sucking in his breath. "Smith!"

I stare at him. "What the hell…OUCH!"

I grope for my right leg and find another turtle chewing on it which I lift up, too, presenting it to the lieutenant.

"Wesson!" Malcolm sounds like he's going to hyperventilate.

"Smith and Wesson? Malcolm, is there something you would like to tell me?" I have to use every little bit of self control to refrain myself from giggling. The look on my armory officer's face is priceless.

The Brit takes the two small water turtles out of my hands and hugs them to his naked chest.

"I'm sorry, Sir…it's just that…"

I listen to him telling me about how he smuggled his pets aboard the ship and how he likes to get them out of their fish tank once I a while and I make a mental note never again to enter the Jacuzzi when Malcolm occupies it.

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