Title: You Cry
Author: Mareel
Author's email: Mareel@earthlink.net
Author's URL: http://www.geocities.com/bdebpr
Archive: Permission to archive granted to EntSTCommunity, Archer's Enterprise, Reed's Armory, Others welcome, please let me know.
Category: Slash (m/m)
Rating: R
Status: Complete
Pairing: Archer/Reed
Series: Just Before Morning
Number in Series: 15
Sequel to: In His Eyes
Disclaimer: They all still belong to Paramount, or, more likely, to themselves.
Summary: "…no pain so great as the memory of joy in present grief"
Notes: This is the fifteenth in a series inspired by the Treksoap Jon and Mal. I'm posting it here for completeness, but it's probably more TS specific than most in this series. Suffice it to say it makes reference to Mal's abduction and Jon's abduction and torture. This one was very difficult for me to write. For Jon… and Malcolm… and Kay, who will know why. The title is from Alanis Morissette's "You Learn" and the summary is from Addison's Cato (act IV, sc. 1).
You Cry
keeping busy…
day-to-day routines and extra tasks
occupy hands and mind,
crowding out other thoughts
sometimes…
not at night though.
people need me…
need the captain, mostly.
except the children…
they need me
but I'm not enough for them…
not enough for me.
the empty bed,
the hollow in my heart…
my love still there… god, yes…
overwhelmingly so sometimes,
but surrounded by emptiness
where you should be.
vivid moments crowd my dreams…
us… bodies entangled, loving…
then your face fades
or mine does…
replaced by one that brings a silent scream
and I awaken…
my pillow wet with unshed tears.
***
Finis