Title: Always Remember

Author: Mareel

Author's email: Mareel@earthlink.net

Author's URL: http://www.geocities.com/bdebpr

Archive: Permission granted to Archer's Enterprise, Reed's Armory, Warp 5, others please ask.

Rating: G

Category: Slash

Status: Complete

Pairing: Archer/Reed

Series: Refuge

Number in Series: 9

Sequel to: Cherish, Respect, Shelter, Defend

Next Story: Held Constant

Disclaimer: They belong to Paramount, or more likely, to each other

Spoilers: Zero Hour

Warning: implied deathfic

Summary: Remembering a word, a touch

Notes: This is the 9th in the Refuge series, though it stands on its own as well. This is set post Zero Hour, and is a double drabble, one from Malcolm, one from Jon, both remembering. This one is for Kipli and her Malcolm muse, with my thanks for the inspiration and the memory.


He can't be gone.
My mind knows there's no way he could have survived…
my heart refuses to acknowledge the emptiness in our bed.

He ordered me away…
wouldn't accept my sacrifice instead of his.
He told me he'd no intention of dying there…
and he's never… ever… lied to me.

One memory haunts me…
at the same time bringing an odd comfort.
On one of the last nights we had together,
he promised he'd never leave me.

When I asked how he could keep that promise,
he laid his hand gently on my heart,
replying with one word…



Forgive me, Malcolm?

Apparently I didn't die…
though I almost wish I had,
knowing the pain I've caused you…
knowing the guilt you'll feel…
the ache of facing every day alone
and every night.

Perhaps I was being selfish,
unwilling to risk losing you…
needing you to live.

One memory haunts me…
yet brings a measure of comfort.
Something I said, after making love…
our last time, it must seem to you.

I promised I'd never leave you.
You searched my eyes, wanting to believe…
not knowing how.

I hope you remember
through your grief…
how I touched your heart.

*** Finis

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